Here I am!

Here I am

standing with open hands,

empty heart,

bewildered mind.

Here I am

lamenting day and night,

poisoned by the

contents of my mind.

Here I am

kneeling,

screaming,

begging the Divine:

‘What’s the purpose of this life?

Why can’t I just stop wasting time?

Simply show me a sign!’

Here I am

chanting your Names Divine,

by tongue, hands, and mind,

but yet somehow

my heart remains dead inside.

Here I am

preaching lofty ideals,

subscribing to Godly meals,

yet keeping the ego at centre.

Here I am

forgetting to let go

and remember that

You are in control.

Here I am

proclaiming to all,

that I am about to lose it all!

I guess that was Your plan

 from the get-go!

Here I am

standing now,

with an open heart,

ready to receive

what You are always

ready to give!

Oh, Dear Friend,

take my body by the hand,

infuse my intelligence,

and seduce my heart,

so I can become

the instrument of your Plan!

Here I am

waiting for Your

universal embrace!

Control

Control is what I strive for,

Control is what the mind wants,

but control is what the heart lacks!

Thinking day and night,

that I control this or that,

forgetting the simple fact,

that the Lord has everything intact.

Creating, 

sustaining,

destroying,

past, present, and the future,

He is ever-present,

 here, there, everywhere.

Yet, again,

I the conditioned soul,

want to possess,

lust to obsess,

and fear to confess,

that I am not in control,

that I fear of losing it all,

and always screwing it up all!

By the Grace of God,

I remembered it all,

that He is in control!

Knowledge, forgetfulness, and memory,

He brings these to us all.

Not a single blade of grass moves, 

without His will Divine.

He inspires my thoughts,

actions, and words.

He attracts, distracts, and entangles.

He provides us with what

we deserve.

So we may ask-‘Who is truly in control?!’

Control is what I strive for,

control is what the mind wants,

but control is what the heart lacks!